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cutelyinsane
12 October 2009 @ 03:34 pm
I'm falling in love again.

I mean, I HAVE fallen in love again.

And it isn't the "replacement" factor either. This is something.... entirely different than anything. I can't equate it to anything else, so I couldn't figure out what it could possibly BE replacing.

I'm kind of in love with being alive right now. And not just because of this man. No. That's just one of the reasons. I'm just.... kind of high on the fact that I am going through serious shit that seriously sucks, and I'm still truckin'. I just keep on moving forward and I STILL manage to enjoy all the little things. I still smile. I'm in control. I feel like I can handle being a functioning human. I'm doing it every day, and it's not killing me. I'm feeling confident and proud to be alive. Even when things blow.... I'm still proud I can do it. Does that make sense?

I know I have a lot to be guilty about, and it might be a little on the evil side for me to be so satisfied right now.... but you don't get many chances to feel this way. I don't want to waste it. I'm done being pathetic, and there are plenty of people in the world who are being pathetic enough as it is. I'll let them handle it. I just wanna bask in this. You dig?
 
 
Current Mood: calm
 
 
cutelyinsane
21 June 2009 @ 02:49 am
No one cares about livejournal anymore.... I include myself here.

BUT I do enjoy popping back every so often (and by that I mean every umpteen months, see the gaps between previous updates if you don't believe me) to say things that won't provoke a slew of offended comments and irritating conversations.

I enjoy having a place where I can say things where I know nobody will REALLY see it, unless they actually care THAT MUCH about that I have to say that they feel compelled to check the site that I am on so very rarely.

The pictures I have on this account are so old, dude.... but I look kinda hot in this one.... crazy. Am I still that hot?

*waits for answers from no one*

Why am I so damn nocturnal.... wait, I know this one. Because I was raised by rock musicians and I only fully function at night. That's right.

I'm sucking less at the guitar. I'm pretty sure I'll ALWAYS be more confident on the piano/keyboards simply because I've been playing longer.... much longer.... but I really do hope I can become a better guitarist and not be so insulting to my family.... it's bad enough I got into the whole "acting" thing rather than sticking to tradition and saying FUCK SCHOOL, I WANNA ROCK. What's wrong with adopting the middle ground?

Seriously though... very few things are sexier than a chick who can really play guitar. And I've got some KILLER guitarists in my family and I'd like to think that there is enough of that brilliance in my genes to develop something.

Maybe I just got too cocky because I caught onto piano so quickly when I started learning, and I expected it to be like that with all instruments. Alas. Twas not so. Sigh....

I'm all tense and bored.... and I don't really feel like sleeping or talking to anybody.... I know what I need. I know what I would very much enjoy right now... but revealing that information would be very much unlike me.

Or... maybe not. I'm not one to advertise.... but.... lately... ahh never mind. I'm wandering. TANGENT ALERT!!

Wait- did I even have an original point to wander from? Do I ever? Probably not.... God, I need to stop. THAT'S why I'm never on anymore... I suck. Pfff.

Um... oh I remember what I wanted to say. I downloaded AIM. I caved at last. But sometimes... on nights like this... I kinda would like to stay up chatting with Dasha. Or another fellow vampire who can put up with my nonsense.

HOWEVER. I cannot figure this shit out. I signed up... I installed the thing... and now I don't know what to do next.... I am so out of the loop.

I should have gone to bed and called Josef a long ass time ago... but I am SO SICK of that routine... I hate the whole "waahh I need to hear your voice before I sleep" thing. Again, I feel married. I hate that. Sure, it's sweet sometimes. And some nights, I feel like I need it. But others... it's just like, what could I possibly say right now? I just fucking saw you.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"what are you up to?"

"Missing you."

"aww. I miss you too."

"So.... I love you."

"I love you too."

*silence*

"I miss you."

"-sigh- I miss you too."

GAHHHH. So annoying. I miss having actual conversations... it makes me so happy on the occasions when that happens now.

This has gone on far too long and my typing noises are bothering my mom... gah. I shall try to.... uh... do... something. Now.

One thing's for sure. The pants are coming OFF.
 
 
Current Mood: awake
 
 
cutelyinsane
19 April 2009 @ 10:49 pm
I am going to hell.

For these thoughts that I'm having.

I want what I want because I shouldn't want it.

But if I took what I want, I'd lose EVERYTHING.
No good can come of this.

No good at all.

But the thoughts won't stop.
I want more.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Here is hell ---> \\\\\|||||//////|||||||////||||\\\\\\\\\\

And here I am, going there. ----> D:

Yup.
 
 
Current Mood: distressed
 
 
cutelyinsane
31 December 2008 @ 05:34 pm
I came back to livejournal again.

I always notice annoying typographical errors the day after I write something, and at such point I am too lazy to go back and correct them. I've probably already made a few in this paragraph that will evade my sight until next I log on.

I really don't have a point right now... I'm just kind of rambling for the sake of rambling.

I'm feeling rather aggravated with Josef right now.... I don't know why. I keep snapping at him and getting all bitchy with him... and afterward I feel really bad about it and get all emotional. I know a great deal of it is due to the PMS, but also there are these lingering feelings of resentment. I think I just want so badly for him to officially GROW UP and do all the adult things... I mean the primary attraction to him in the first place was the fact that he was so grown up. He could take care of himself. He's had to be his own parent for the majority of his life, and therefore I felt safe with him. But now, I feel like he's so dependent on me, like I'm evolving faster than he is and he has yet to really stand up and be a man. I don't want to be the one in the couple that the other one relies on. I want to be taken care of, and still have my own independence respected. I mean he gets so upset at the thought of my trip to Europe. It's twelve days, and he can't handle it. I just want to feel safe again with him, rather than being the one providing security for him. It doesn't work that way. I know right now is the time for adjustment and you can't just suddenly and miraculously obtain a job a car and a house, but I wish the ball would get rolling so I wouldn't have to get so damn pissed off that he stays up til sunrise playing goddamn video games.

I hate those fucking games.

Fuck, grow up and enter the real world. I fell out of affection with a certain someone else because I realized what a fucking baby he really was, and I don't want that to happen now. I love Josef and he's my best friend. He treats me the best I could ever imagine. But I need a man now, because I'm becoming a woman. I can't date a teenager. It's high time.

I really hope he gets the message and does what's necessary. I would be so hurt and broken up if this relationship got ruined over something so.... obvious.

I did not mean to take such a drastic turn into relationship issues here... I guess that's just what's on my mind. Huh. Well to change the subject, I am severely bored. Josef and my brother went outside with guns. Scary. I would have gone with them if I weren't trying to get over laryngitis and it weren't so fucking cold outside. This would be why I commandeered Josef's laptop. And I have a sudden urge to watch Army of Darkness.

Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!

Ahh, I love that line. Haha.

What else could I mindlessly type about.... perhaps I should just go find something productive to do.

That would be best.

Oh yeah! It's New Year's Eve tonight! Happy New Year, people.

I miss Disneyland. :(
 
 
Current Mood: blah
 
 
cutelyinsane
31 December 2008 @ 02:43 am
You guys should probably be used to the fact that I come onto livejournal about nce a year. That's just the way it is. I don't always have much to say unless I've built it up for a series of months.... or maybe I'm just far too busy (or far too lazy) to update more than one webpage at a time. Sorry people, myspace won. Yeah, I know everyone's all about facebook right now, but there is no way in hell I'm creating ANOTHER stupid thing for me to check. Two is plenty. Anyhow.... this year.... I'm almost completely done with junior college and I'm being accepted into Cal State Fullerton, I'm about to move to the Orange County area, I'm going on a trip to Romania and London (EEP!), and um, wasn' there some kind of elction or something that took place??

I'm not sure. I've since tried to block it out.

And no, needless to say, I most certainly did NOT "Barack the vote."

Anyhow, no matter what the outcome, I would still be so deathly sick of the whole situation by now. No matter who won, I still would be ill at the thought of discussing it at this point. I mean I was swollen with pride to have registered for the first time and to have used my right to vote, but I'm certainly glad it's over. Even if I severely dislike the elect.

In other news- or actually in partially related news, I'm kind of adjusting to the whole "adult" thing, since this seemed to be the year of big individual steps. I mean the voting thing, the 18 thing, the passport thing, the application to university thing, and not to mention the fact that I payed for this upcoming trip ALL BY MYSELF with no financial assistance. Go me. Granted, I'm pretty much wiped out now fiscally, but I managed to organize it pretty well. I saved up 3,200 dollars to pay for this trip, and I'm still saving up for spending money once I'm out there. I had to make a few sacrifices... I mean I couldn't go crazy making mad purchases of fun things these past few months. Which is good, because that isn't the way life works, let's face it. And things have been pretty good, since I managed to upgrade my disney pass and I still regularly visit the Magic Kingdom about once a week. Yeah, I'm addicted. We knew this. But I really wanted to get my tattoo the year I turned legal, but I've had to put it off. Sigh. It's alright though. I've been very responsible, and quite frankly, I'm not feeling the effects of this horrid "recession."

Then again, maybe that's because me and my family did not put down unaffordable and ridiculous loans on things that I didn't need....

anyhow. Short of getting too political, this "bad economy" has actually been working out pretty well for me. I've managed to pull off a hell of a lot this year financially. Plus gas is cheap.

Ugh. That reminds me of the next thing on my list of responsibilities... driving. For some reason it's been dead last on the list of priorities, but now I don't really have a choice. Since I'll be going to a new school and hopefully working at Disney, I'm gonna need to supply my own wheelage. Ah, to live.

To live will be a grand adventure.
 
 
Current Location: Mariposa... blech
Current Mood: complacent
 
 
cutelyinsane
18 February 2008 @ 01:16 am
Yes indeed.

I know, I'm only in community college right now.... but the atmosphere at LAHC is frickin amazing compared to the large-headed snobbery that was HHS. Yeah, I had the best times of my life there and made the best friends ever, but the school ITSELF.... despite the few awesome teachers.... was in need of some.... not gayness.

And the shows... oohhh the shows. The reharsals are so fast-paced and professional... everyone works together for a common goal of GOOD SHOW, and there is literally NO crap, because everyone is an adult. It rules. It is so damn refreshing.

And by this time next year, i'll be transferring to one of the following places:

Chapman University

UCLA

Cal State Fullerton.

I'm in the honors program, so I get priority admission, plus the scholarships I've gotten make it a tad easier, and all of these schools have killer acting programs. The only thing I have to do is go to some shows from each of the schools, and that's how I'll know.
I'm hoping for Chapman, though. I absolutely love the location. It's in the OC area, right between disneyland and the beach. Two very Sydnni-friendly places. Especially since I plan to work at Disneyland next year. I long to be Alice.... or at least work at a ride I enjoy. But the recruiter people seemed to think I would make a fabulous Alice. :)

So yeah... life is new.... and cool. I'm gonna adjust my journal now to be Sweeney-tastic. Because Sweeney Todd is..... unbelievable. Not just the movie, though. I've always loved the musical as well. It is NOT just my Johnny-bias talking. Maybe a little of my Burton-bias, though. Hehe.

Alrighty. Off I go.
 
 
Current Location: home
Current Mood: calm
 
 
cutelyinsane
09 August 2007 @ 07:01 pm
So I haven't been on in a while...


I graduated. That's pretty cool. School was dumb. Lots of people I hate.... that I never have to see again! It's almost like I got to kill them without consequence! :]

Still, I'll never forget it. From the first day of 10th grade to the day I walked the stage, there were definetely some kickass moments. And my friends have been the most valuable bits of existence that I could ever have stumbled across. Lots of messyness here and there, but all that's over, and now I'm calling the shots. This life is MINE, and I do things because I'm writing my own story in the universe, not because I'm being graded on it. I don't have to impress anybody, and if I come across any immaturity, I can just walk away from it. It feels so powerful. Like I should prance around saying "BEHOLD" all the time.

I'm glad to be out. I'm done looking back. I can reflect fondly and wish my friends the best, but I'm no longer paart of that world. Now it's just MINE.

I start college soon... and in a while I'll be working at Disneyland doing a paid internship for credit.... that should be cool. I wanna work the Jungle Cruise and be all funny and entertaining... or Haunted Mansion so I can stand in there all day and get in a bucket to ride on my breaks... or Pirates, obviously.... because it's the best ride ever..... aahhh the future. Then I'll be moving to Orange County going to Chapman... and I'm not sure I'm ready to imagine life entirely on my own... and I swear to God, if one more person asks me "When are you gonna start driving?" I am gonna start EATING FACES. I'll drive when (a) I have time and (b) I FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT.
I'll post a goddamn international bulletin when the time comes, alright?!?

Anywho. That's my current state. Oooh oooh and I got a Disneyland annual pass for grad... I wanna go like every 2 seconds now... somebody take me? Pleeease??

I'll be nice! :]]

Back to myspace I go... nobody's on today.... very boring... perhaps somebody will talk to me now... okay buhbye!

~aloha~
 
 
Current Location: my ass
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: the whooshing cars outside
 
 
cutelyinsane
18 June 2007 @ 08:29 am
My 99 Truths!

1. real name - Sydnni

2. like it - Yes, even though no one can spell it

3. single or taken - taken... I wish they'd find another word for that.

4. zodiac sign - Taurus mooooooooo

5. male or female - I'm a laaaady

6. elementary - um.... there were many.... so I'll spare you by not listing them.

7. middle - Mariposa Middle School (aaaccckk) and homeschooling.

8. high school - Hollywoooooooooooood!!!!

9. eye color - bluuue (I like vowels today)

10. hair color - blondeblonde

11. long or short - longish

15. are you a health freak - not as much as I should be.

16. height - 5'1" (shut up)

17. do you have a crush on someone - Johnny Depp.... :]

18. do you like yourself? - most of the time I s'pose

19. piercings - five in ears and one in belly button

20. tattoos - not yet.

21. righty or lefty - boring righty

FIRSTS :

22. first surgery - never!

23. first piercing - I was 4.... it closed up... then 11

24. first best friend - Bink ♥

25. first award - Beauty Pageant when I was 1

26. first sport - swimming

27. first pet - Cleo the fish

28. first vacation - uuuhhhhhhh............


CURRENTLY:

49. eating - Nothing.

50. drinking - watah

52. I'm about to - answer number 53

53. listening to - dumbass people in 1st period

55. waiting for - 3:25

57. wearing - jeans, blue tank, brown tank, pirate shoes

FUTURE :

58. want kids?: YES! Not anytime soon, though.

59. want to get married?: Same answer.

60. careers in mind?: actor, singer.... Disneyland in a little while!

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :

68. lips or eyes?: EYES

69. hugs or kisses: I love hugs.....

70. shorter or taller: If he's shorter than me, he's a freak.

71. tan skinned or light: whatever his natural color is.

72. romantic or spontaneous - both. either of those to the extreme would annoy me.

73. dark or light hair - light.... but if Josef had dark hair, I'd say dark. Hey.... that'd be kinda cool............. hehe

74. built muscular or normal: some muscle, but not freakish.

75. hook-up or relationship: Realtionship.

76. similar to you or different: Similar, but not identical.

77. trouble maker or hesitant: ....... he needs to balance.

HAVE YOU EVER :

78. kissed a stranger: no way.

79. drank bubbles: ew! soapy!

80. lost glasses/contacts: yep

83. climbed up a tree: I can't..... too short.....

84. broken someone's heart: possibly.

85. been arrested: no way.

86. turned someone down: yes.

87. cried when someone died: Yeah

88. liked a friend as more than a friend: Clearly.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

89. yourself: No, I'm not real. Your parents made me up. So did the candy companies.

90. miracles: yeah, but I'd like one.

91. love at first sight: not LOVE. Attraction, inclinations.

93. Santa clause: Always. He's my homie.

94. Sex on the first date: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

95. kissing on the first date: not like makey outy.... like a peck.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :

97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? the guy I'm mad at for not coming to school.... and Uncle Mike.

98. Who is it?: you're retarded.

99. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?: NO WAY.
 
 
Current Mood: bored
 
 
cutelyinsane
05 June 2007 @ 08:24 am
So I'm gonna post this here for now so I don't lose it. Okay okay.

70 Quirks about me:

1. What are your initials?
SMF

2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
big t-shirts.... jeans (that fit)

3. Last thing you ate?
nothing yet, it's too early.

5. I say Shotgun, you say...?
Micheal Moore!

6. Last person you hugged?
Jade

7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
He knows. Maybe that's why he started dating me. :)

9. Name something you like physically about yourself.
eyes.....hair (most of the time)......feet...... that's about it.
Oh, my boobs are good. I'm okay with those.

10. Last place you went out to dinner?
uhh..... haven't eaten out in awhile...... *thinks* ......
Oh! Redwest Pizza. Mmmm.

11. Who are your best friends?
Bink, Chelsea, Jade, Dasha, Alexis, Josef (duh), Leo, Felicia, Hollee, Holly, James, and some others. In no order, because I don't put my friends in order.

12.Why are you still up?
because I have to be in school....... duuhhh.......

13. Who/What made you angry today?
fucking Doomsday arguing with everything...... wanting to talk about something I'd rather not...... gah!

16. Favorite type of Food?
pasta, Italian, Mexican, Hawaiian.... Berries n Creme Starburst!

17. Favorite holidays:
HALLOWEEEEEN and Christmas.

18. Do you download music:
sometimes.

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
yes ew... but I hate socks anyway. Confinement......

21. Would you date the person who posted this?
No.... she's like my sister.....

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Uncle Mike!

23. Do you love anyone?
many people.

24. Do you like Bush?
The band or the president? Well, either way, definetely YES.

25. Have you ever bungie jumped?
That's bungee.... and no.

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
No but that would rock!

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Oooohh yeah.

29. Have you met a real redneck?
yes.... uuuggghhhh.

30. Do you miss anyone right now?
yes, and he won't be here till rehearsal!! And also my uncle.

31. What are you listening to right now?
my lame class full of freshmen.

32. What is your current favorite song?
I dunno.... I have a million favorite songs.

33. What was the last movie you watched on tv? theatre?
TV- no idea.
Theatre- The Constant Wife.

34. Do you wear contacts?
no, but I should.... hate glasses......

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
school, like ALWAYS...... only 2 more weeks though!

36. What are you afraid of?
toasters, monkeys, the energizer bunny.

37. How many piercings have you had?
I've had 7, but the first one (when I was 3) got effed up.... so now 6.

38. How many pets do you have?
a kitty, a hamster, millions of fish, and my doggy in mariposa.

39. What's one thing you've learned this year?
how to put up with bullshit and keep pushing and know that sacrifice is worthwhile.

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
chai latte or something chocolatey and blended.

42. Have you ever fired a gun?
not a real one. I've touched em though.

43. Who was the last person you Kissed?
Josef DUH......

44. Favorite TV show?
Always Pee-Wee, but currently.... I like Bones and House.

45. Do you have an iPod?:
kinda...... it sucketh.....

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
Yep. Kirsten Storms, Nicole Kidman, Juliette Binoche, I only see the first one. Crazy people.

48. Who would you like to see right now?
Bigfoot......

49. Favorite movie of all time?
Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas ♥

50. Do you find yourself loved?
yeah. it rocks.

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't?
What.....? But if I wasn't doing it...... how was I caught? I actually HOPE that happens so I can see how that works.


52. Favorite flower?
dried up roses.... all of the flowers in Hawaii

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
butter.

54. Who's your favorite band/singer?:
Oingo Boingo

55. Who's the last person that saw you cry?
uhh.... Josef or Mom.

56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently?
not recently.

58. What's something that really bugs you?
LATE REHEARSALS!

59. Do you like Michael Jackson?
early songs. Off the Wall and Thriller are amazing albums. Now.... he needs a little help.

61. What's your favorite smell?
play-doh

62. Favorite basketball team?
ew yeah right

63. Favorite cereal?
berry berry kix, cookie crisp, honey bunches of oats......

65. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?
I don't remember..... few days, just because I couldn't fall asleep.

67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
I have no idea.

68. Who was your last phone call?
Josef

69. where's #66?
Satan took it.


70. What is your weirdest quirky thing about you...
Uhh... there are so many... so I'll just say that I only have ONE place where I'm ticklish, and it changes every day so I never know where it is. Also, the phrase "itchy eyebrows" makes my eyebrows itchy (yes I just scratched them), and the word "burst" makes my abdomen hurt (ow).
 
 
Current Mood: weird
 
 
cutelyinsane
25 May 2007 @ 07:50 am

Which David Bowie are you?












Which rockstar are you like?




Alice Cooper....You come across as having a twisted creative mind and a liking for the dark. You are dark and mysterious. You also have a very strong moral outlook on life and are quite smart. Probably a good person with a wild side or a wild person with a good side. Either way. You can be entertaining without using substances either.
Take this quiz!








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Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code






You Are Amy Lee!

Gothy, expressive, woman-in-pain
Who looks damn good in a corset
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears"
 
 
Current Mood: crazy
 
 
cutelyinsane
18 May 2007 @ 08:23 am
~*~* Top 10 *~*~
---10 Firsts---
First Best Friend:::Bink
First Screenname:::supersyd
First Pet Name:::Cleo (fish)
First Piercing:::ears (11)
First Crush:::Jay Malsberry
First CD:::I usually had tapes... but probably NSYNC
First School:::Castaic Elementary
First House Location:::Kauai
First Kiss:::peck-1st grade// makeout-14
First Car:::ha yeah right
---9 Lasts---
Last Time You Smoked:::the only time I tried a cigarette, and ever will. 13
Last Food You Ate:::white cheddar cheetos
Last Car Ride:::to the bus this morning
Last Movie You Watched:::good question... Labyrinth?
Last Phone Call:::Josef
Last CD You Listened To:::new NBXMAS
Last Bubble Bath You Took:::pssh elephino
Last Song You Listened To:::Welcome to the Jungle
Last Words You Said:::wait-say that again?
---8 Have-You-Evers---
Dated A Best Friend:::I am!!! :]
Been Arrested:::nooo
Been On TV:::yep
Eaten Sushi:::YESSSS
Cheated On Your B/F or G/F:::NEVEREVEREVEREVER!!!!
Been On A Blind Date:::eww
Been Out Of The Country:::nope--not YET
Been In Love:::heehee :]]]
---7 Things You Are Wearing---
1:::holey jeans
2:::pink cami
3:::AFI jacket
4:::bracelet
5:::flip flops
6:::black bra
7:::pink undies
---6 Things You've Done Today---
1:::woke up
2:::brushed my teeth
3:::got dressed
4:::put on makeup
5:::got on the bus
6:::went to 1st period
---5 Favorite Things (not in any order)---
1:::Josef
2:::Tim Burton
3:::acting
4:::singing
5:::rock n roll \m/
---4 People You Most Trust---
1:::my mom
2:::my gram
3:::Josef
4:::uncle Mike
---3 Things You Want To Do Before You Die---
1:::become a professional fim actress
2:::be in a band
3:::look in the mirror and smile in satisfaction.
---2 Choices---
Vanilla or Chocolate:::CHOCOLATE!!!!
Hugs or Kisses:::hugs
--1 Person You Want To See Right Now---
1:::it's a secret.... hehe :]
Take this survey | Find more surveys | MySpace Surveys
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The Ultimate Girly Survey
xX. First Things First .Xx
You are a girl, right?:last time I checked
So what's your name, then?:Sydnni
And you're how old?:17
Where do you live?:san pedro
Are you seeing someone, or are you available?:seeing someone.... and I do more than see....
xX. So, Tell Me About Yourself .Xx
How tall are you?:5'1"
What do you weigh, if you don't mind my asking?:I honestly have no idea
What would you consider your body type to be?:icky..... but many of my friends argue with me.
What size do you wear?:pants? uhm, 9 or 11. Dunno my dress size.
What size are your feet?:little.... 7 1/2
How long is your hair?:relatively long.
And what color is it?:sandy blonde
Is it natural, or dyed?:It's my natural color, but I was a different color before, so I had to dye it to get it this way.
Is it straight, curly, wavy, or something else altogether?:straight, wavy if I leave it wet and leave it alone
And is it naturally that way, or made to do so?:naturally....
What color are your eyes?:bluuuueee
If you chould change their color, what would they be?:I would love to change the color of ONE eye..... like Bowie.... purple!
Do you have freckles?:individual ones in odd places.
If you do, do you wish you didn't / If you don't, so you wish you did?:uh.....no? You are strange and off putting.
Do you wear glasses or contacts, or have you ever?:glasses when necessary
Do you, or have you ever had braces?:NO WAY
xX. Getting Yourself Together .Xx
How long does it take you to shower?:half an hour
How long does it take you to pick an outfit and get dressed?:not very long.... I usually pick the outfit the night before.
Do you tend to co-ordinate your outfits carefully, or throw on whatever?:somewhere between the two
Matchy-matchy shoes and bags, or no?:no way dude.
xX. Get Your Game Face On .Xx
Do you wear foundation?:sometimes, not usually
Do you wear bronzer?:occasionally, but rarely.
How about blush?:sometimes, but again, rarely.
Do you prefer lipstick, lipgloss, or both?:gloss.
Do you wear eyeshadow, typically?:now THAT I wear frequently.
What colors do you most often wear?:black or purple
Do you wear eyeliner?:oooohh yes.
Basic black, or other colors?:both
How about mascara?:can't leave the house without it.
Do you curl your eyelashes as well, or no?:don't need to.
How many coats of mascara do you usually apply?:like I keep track.... one, I think.... I put it on to the point that my eyelashes look good....
Which make-up brands are your personal favorites?:max factor, maybelline, revlon
And in total, how long does all this usually take?:15 minutes
xX. Hairy Situation .Xx
Do you wash your hair daily?:every other day
Do you condition daily?:ditto
Do you use a leave-in conditioner?:nope
What brand of shampoo do you use?:whatever mom buys..... I prefer pantene
How about your conditioner and/or leave-in?:ditto
Do you tend to use specialty products?:I use a spray glosser or straightening goo sometimes.
What kinds? (Volumizing, Frizz-Minimizing, etc.):oh that kind. Uh, anti-breakage, for color-treated, uh... stuff for blonde hair....
Do you blow dry your hair regularly, or just air dry it?:depends on if I want it straight or wavy.
Do you straighten it daily?:no. my mood changes.
Do you ever curl it, or style it in any other way?:yep. sometimes I make it naturally wavy, sometimes I straghten, someties I crimp it for uberwavs, etc.
Do you, or have you ever dyed or highlighted your hair?:oooohhh yeeesss.
From a bottle, or do you frequent the salon for that?:from the box.
Do you have a lot of split ends?:sometimes
Do you cut your hair regularly to avoid split ends?:yep
How long does it take you to get your hair done on a regular day?:eh 15 minutes tops
xX. Otherwise... .Xx
Do you take good care of your nails?:no time anymore
Do you chew your nails at all?:try not to
Do you frequently wear nail polish?:not really anymore
Do you get manicures, or acrylics at all?:pssh no
Do you get pedicures?:psssssssshhhh
What nail polish brand is your favorite?:dunno
What nail polish colors do you most wear?:black, blue, pink, red
Glitter - yes or no?:sure
Do you wear perfume?:sure
Do you have coordinating perfume-lotion-bodywash-etc. combos?:some
What perfume do you wear?:this oil Jade gave me
Do you have many perfumes, or just one regular one?:a few
If you have many, what are they?:eh don't feel like listing
xX. Fashion .Xx
Are you a fan of high fashion?:nah
What designer label/brand name is your favorite?:howbout just getting what you like, regardless of the label?
Do you often wear designer labels?:fuck no.
Do you own a designer bag?:FUCK NO.
How about designer shades?:actually yes.... they were a present.
Do you think designer labels are for pretentious wannabes?:hell yes I do.
If you had to 'label' your sense of style, what would it be?:ME
Do you like wearing skirts and dresses?:sometimes
Do you wear track pants with things written across the bum?:no....
Shirts or shorts in the summer?:yep
Jeans, or other pants?:jeans
Do you prefer heels or flats?:flats
Do you wear sneakers, or fancy shoes regularly?:flip flops
Do you ever wear a hat?:nah
What color(s) do you gravitate towards most?:black and pink
Do you consider yourself to be trendy?:nooo
What is your favorite trend at the moment?:I kinda dig the retro 80s thing.
Do you wear cute socks, or just basic black/white ones?:cute...usually 2 different ones
How do you feel about toe socks?:YES
Fishnet stockings, tacky or fabulous?:coool
Do you even say 'fabulous'?:hell no
xX. The Opposite Sex .Xx
Do you prefer guys to be older or younger?:older
By how many years?:a few, but I love the one I have!
What style do you like in a guy?:hmm.... Josef.
Do you like guys refined, or a bit rough around the edges?:hmmm.... Josef.
What eye colors do you most prefer in a guy?:blue and shiny
How about their hair color? Any preference?:I like red, but blondes are growing on me....
Do you really believe the big-feet big-junk thing?:wel.... uh..... not usually..... but.... nevermind.
Does a guy's looks mean a lot to you?:eh
How about their personality?:YES
Would you date a not-so-good-looking guy who was a sweetie?:no, only Josef.
How about a hottie that was kind of a jerk?:NO, only Josef.
What is an absolute deal-breaker when it comes to guys?:that they aren't Josef.
Do you have any personal fetishes when it comes to guys?:doi I even need to say it?
What do you notice first in a guy?:sigh.
If a guy leaves the toilet seat up, are you bothered?:yes
Should a guy open doors and pull out chairs for a girl?:yes
Is it important that a guy is good with children?:yeeeeeeeeesssss
Do you prefer long-term, or one-night kinda things?:1st one
A proper date, or just 'hanging out'?:both
Do you enjoy double dating?:sure
Do you date more than one guy at a time?:nooooo
xX. Go Towards The Light .Xx
We're finished! Was it good for you too?:yeah ok whatever.
Take this survey | Find more surveys | MySpace Surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site
 
 
Current Mood: dorky
 
 
cutelyinsane
16 May 2007 @ 08:43 am
It's homeroom now... and I just presented a powwerpoint about literature... I was the only one who didn't just fucking copy and paste from sparknotes.....
the frickin freshmen all had the exact same thing. Losers.

I don't enjoy going to economics class..... I want NAP.

At least in rehearsal today we're only doing the opening number.... I have that sucker DOWN. Easy. Plus Chelsea will be there. Woo! I miss being on stage with her sooo much. It'll only be for a few minutes, but I'm so glad she'll get to at least be there for my last show--no matter how gay.


Anywho. Bell's gonna ring. I must be off..... spreeeeeeeeeeee!
 
 
Current Mood: indifferent
 
 
cutelyinsane
11 May 2007 @ 08:20 am
So I took my AP Exam yesterday-and kicked its ass- and the first poem in it was sooo awesome, I had to search for it. So yes.... I love this poem, which I discovered yesterday, and also answered multiple choice questions about it....

After Death (by Christina Rossetti)

The curtains were half drawn, the floor was swept
And strewn with rushes, rosemary and may
Lay thick upon the bed on which I lay,
Where through the lattice ivy-shadows crept.
He leaned above me, thinking that I slept
And could not hear him; but I heard him say:
“Poor child, poor child:” and as he turned away
Came a deep silence, and I knew he wept.
He did not touch the shroud, or raise the fold
That hid my face, or take my hand in his,
Or ruffle the smooth pillows for my head:
He did not love me living; but once dead
He pitied me; and very sweet it is
To know he still is warm though I am cold.
 
 
Current Mood: sleepy
 
 
cutelyinsane
09 May 2007 @ 08:29 am
Gragh. My existence is so packed right now. Nothing seems to want to calm down. Everybody's freaking out over one thing or the other, A Chorus Line is the gayest thing in the history of ever, there are so very many untalented brats that I despise with all of my soul.... and I do in fact hate their moms twice as much. I'm so unbelievably done with high school. After I graduate, everything will be on my terms, and I won't be dealing with the same crap every day. Of course, there will be some crap, but not this crap. Also.... the whole career thing sounds pretty cool... especially considering the people I'll be trampling and leaving in my sparkly dust to get there. I may not appear to have as many "opportunities" or "connections" as some others do, and unlike Chelsea, I could never start out by modeling.... she has the advantage of being beautiful. I know I'm talented, but I often wonder if that even means anything anymore. Well, either way. I'm being a whole lot healthier, I'm getting better at the dancing, and hopefully the weight situation will be under conrol soon. That'll be a plus....
but before I can actually get to the major career-y stuff, I have to go to college. I HAVE to. And once I go to Chapman, I'll be working at Disneyland while I seek out auditions and agencies and so forth. Sigh.
I know I'll be doing theatre and film school.... but I think I'll be majoring in communications so that I have actual realistic education...... I'm not even sure what kinds of opportunities open up trough communications.... but I always score high on all those career tests for communications and everyone tells me my English and writing and creative skills will come in handy..... gah.

Either way. I WILL become David Bowie status. I will be a rock star, I will be an actor. How long this takes, that's up to the universe. We'll see.
It'll be awesome eventually...


and just in time for sunrise.
 
 
Current Mood: blank
 
 
cutelyinsane
08 May 2007 @ 07:45 am
Well, all I can say is that I should've known.

The blog below this was how I felt at the time, and in a spontaneous fit of trifling emotions, I released my words rather than spreading them and doing what I thought would make things worse. Apparently the best thing to do was to just keep silent, completely. The second I posted it, the feelings were gone, my emotions were released, and it was out of my system. I didn't care.
In fact, I had forgotten I even did it until it was brought up a few days later. Still, I should've waited for the entire story to be evident to me before I ranted, but who can control their emotions? I do not apologize for feeling what I felt, but I regret saying anything without considering the consequences.

I blame the internet for all of the immature problems we have. It shouldn't be this much of a curse.... but I've learned. From now on, I'll wait.

I still stand on the fact that rudeness is inexcusable, but I know everything I need to know now, and I've apologized to everyone I needed to. But I only apologize for my timing, and for my ignorance before typing. But for saying how I feel, just like everybody else? No.

I have no further explaining to do..... as my best friend put it, the period is at the end of this sentence.
 
 
Current Mood: calm
 
 
cutelyinsane
02 May 2007 @ 07:39 am
I cannot believe she said that to her. I cannot believe she let HIM say that to her.
She isn't in charge of what he says, but she didn't even try to fight for her friend.

It's all his fault. What the hell does he do to possess her and make her disregard her friends? The ones that would NEVER get bored with her? She's gotten so blind.... I always blame it on myself that my friends evaporate, but this time it's not my doing. It has nothing to do with my unexplained ability to make my friends change and go away. This is all HIM. And I'm not taking sides here. Not even. I don't put my friends in order or decide who I like better. But this is too far. I love her so much. And HE cannot possibly provide the kind of love WE have for her. She's right; we don't exactly and perfectly understand how her relationship is under the surface. But it can't be that euphorious if it drives her to kill off her friendships. And if she sees this, she'll probably use it as an excuse not to talk to me. She's THAT quick to just tell us to go away for the sake of the blatant RUDENESS displayed by her counterpart. And I could say things alot meaner to stress my point, but I won't, because unlike HIM, I am not immature and juvenile. God, how can you stand by and let ANYONE, no matter what their relationship to you, deliberately treat your friend like that? Even if you had just had an argument, just think of how often she'd support you, confide in you, hold your head, give you advice, trust you, LOVE you.... a stupid bout of bickering, over something so STUPID that doesn't even matter, is not worth ruining that entire friendship. Simply by supporting your friend's dignity, not even backing down from your position in the argument, simply addressing the harshness and rude ignorance in his words, will not affect your relationship with HIM. At least stand up for the fact that you even care at all for your friend. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you just don't care anymore. If that's it, then just talk to US about it and be an adult like you claim to be. Don't leave it for us to find out by being deliberately insulted and hurt by your messenger. You may believe everything he says, but we don't.

Get a backbone and decide what your willing to lose.

If I didn't love you, I'd stand by and say nothing. You'd do the same for me.

I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, since I know this will. But I'm not sorry for saying how I feel.
 
 
Current Mood: disappointed
 
 
cutelyinsane
05 April 2007 @ 09:24 am
Everyone here should know that I worship Danny Elfman. There is very little I am more passionate about. Well, I have just stumbled upon yet another masterpiece that I CANNOT believe I haven't seen 'till now. The following is the most brilliant thing EVER. You'll pee and die. I totally did. :)


Oh deedle dee, three tots are we
And we're as clever as can be.
We live with Grandma Ida and our dear old Grandpa Ned
And little Baby Mike (the brat)
And don't forget the siamese cat
And in the attic from Detroit is big, fat Uncle Fred.

Oh Grandpa wishes he were rich
and Grandma just complains (the bitch)
And Uncle Fred sits drunk and then Mike cries all night and day.
The cat thinks that he owns the place
He bites and scratches on the face
It'd be so nice if they all went away, away
Away deeday deeday deeday deeday deeday deeday.

The cat is dead, the cat is dead
I went to pat him on the head
He didn't purr, he didn't meow, he didn't blink or spit.
He seemed to have a funny smile that made me laugh
But all the while, the tail that used to flip and flap
Got awful cold and stiff.
We chopped him into little bits
And seasoned him with apple piths
And with some dust, we made a crust and put him in a pie.
Into the oven he did slip, until the crust was nice and crisp.
I'll love that little kitty till I die, I die
I die dee di dee di dee di dee di dee di dee di.

The cat is dead, the cat is dead
And Mikey too, and Uncle Fred
Expiring oh so suddenly while sipping down some tea.
The tea was hot, the tea was nice
With strychnine and a little spice to
Cover up the funny taste of our conspiracy.
When Grandpa saw what we had done
He went straight for his hunting gun
But we were quick we stole the clip
The rest is history.
To make sure Grandma wouldn't flee
We gave her a lobotomy
And now's she's just as happy as can be, can be
Can beedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle dee.
 
 
Current Mood: cheerful
 
 
cutelyinsane
05 April 2007 @ 09:20 am
So, I realized that in my last blog, in which I attempted to find out how long it has been since last I posted, I failed to notice that the date and time are at the top of every entry.......... drrrrrrrrrrrr................

I dunno how much longer 1st period is..... I wanna put a survey or something up here, and I hope have time..... eh what the hell. This isn't very important anyway.
I will return after the pause.

*pause*

whoa..... you're not gonna belive this..... but that pause lasted like a week..... and the computer still had it saved....... wow. Yeah I did this huge survey, and it took too long, and then the bell rang. But I think this is interesting..... we went forward in time!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!! Anyway. I'm gonna post this one, then I'm gonna post another one with AWESOME song lyrics from the amazing Elfman....... I shall return!

SPREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
cutelyinsane
20 March 2007 @ 08:30 am
Well. A very interesting occurance has....um....occured. I haven't been on livejournal in forever (I seem to enjoy doing that), and the first time in moooonnths that the thought crosses my mind is in 1st period. Yeah. The last time I posted an entry was in 11th grade..... probably 2nd semester.... shit, that means it was a year ago! Damn.
Anyway, I felt lke ranting, and there is a somewhat stronger sense of security here than on that OTHER website I go to....... which shall go unnamed for now. No, it's not porn. *thinks* Wait, yeah I guess it kind of is. Anyway (again), it is now my final and concluding (though minimally climactic) semester of high school. How odd. I'm supposed to be selling candy...... but I'm not..... I should get on that. Also, I seriously need to do Bridges' vocab work...... but then I wanted to type nonsense..... rather than define it...... yes. I also just recalled that I have a test in my next class..... fuckness. Shouldn't be too bad, it's only Schwich. Which is funny last name, and it sounds like a sound effect in a Batman comic. SCHWICH!!! POW! THWACK! BIFF! Ah, I'm having far too much fun.
So as I was looking over my previous entries, I though to myself, "How lame."
I do that alot. It's so amazing to me how much I've evolved over the course of one year. I mean, I guess my manner of speaking (and typing) is more or less the same, but the meaning behind it is entirely new. So we finally moved out of the apartment.... into another one..... still in San Pedro, but closer to the beach. No, I do not want to have a party tonight. We're still kind of in Box Land, but my room's done! :)
So there's a tad bit of relief there. Still, I cannot believe how gay I appear in many of my lower "I'm pathetically in love and it sucks" entries. *shame*
I mean, I'm still in love, but it's soooooooooo much nicer...... maybe because I found the right person. Well, he was always there, but I got my head out of my ass. Or, Dylan's, rather. Anyway, I've spent far too much time addressing this, so no more.
I will, however, add that my toes are cold.

Also, the #^*%*&$@#! spring musical is PISSING ME RIGHT OFF! They seem to enjoy blackballing me, casting according to who's mom kisses the most ass, and picking a really fucking gay show to do. What's up with that, Goldyn??? Gah. Anywho, I got a part (sort of), but it's extremely miniscule and yet another FUCK YOU SYDNNI from the hypocrit squad. Again I've said too much. And truly I must get to my work and tugboat my way to the Hollywood Bowl. Alack.

We will meet again in the next life, but not again in this one.
 
 
Current Mood: groggy
 
 
cutelyinsane
24 July 2006 @ 07:24 pm
So Taylor told me to start coming back to lj.... because apparently she's an even BIGGER computer whore than I thought. hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa forever! um.... so here I find myself at my little thingy here writing about generally NOTHING. Which is okay. Nothing is good. Heehee... nothing is good..... that's funny. Well, I appear to be a little on the goofy side today..... in a different way than usual. AAAND I'm not sick! I think I was sick in the last 6 entries.... I still abuse the dotdotdots. Haven't been able to kick that just yet. Give me time.
So shyeah, I haven't been here in a while. But hey, I have better things to do. ahemmyspacehemhem.... naah not really, just.... well more people talk to me there. but computer is computer.... just another getaway from the real world.... but it is slowly BECOMING the real world.... she says as she uses still more dotdotdots............
I'm not nearly as bad as Dylan, who hasn't updated in like 2 years. I admire him. So unaffected by the lameass social trends. Or is he...... ?????

Beside the point. Oh yeah, wait, there is no point... I forgot. I'm lacking in point. I am sub-point. Pointless. The point is absent. Void of point. Where there should be a point, there is a gaping hole full of blatherous fool nonsensical jibberish.....the general dialect of Sydnni.
WHOA! I think I just found the point!That there IS no point! Wow! But that's kinda contradictory.... so now my thesis is incorrect.... but if it were correct, then there would be no point.... wow! This is some paradox! Yaaay paradox! Such fun. Aside from my horrid abuse of punctuation, I think Mr. Itkin would be very proud of this entry. SHIT! MR. ITKIN!!! I'm supposed to be reading some crap for his class! bah! I'll get to it. Iam the world's greatest high-achieving procrastinator. Alrighty then. Now that my thesis is established.... I will reach my conclusion. THERE IS NO CONCLUSION.
 
 
 
 

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